Hi, I’m Matt the Nerd. I used to be like you, a wimp who possibly may or may not be ambiguously physically attractive. Playing video games and having people just think that i was just a nerd.

I used to look like

This guy

But then I became super buff and all I had to do was follow 9 easy steps.

Step 1. Get intimidated or beat up by some bully.

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This is vital to Step 2. Very important, if you need a bully and you’re low on cash, just get the five dollar bully plan. Go outside with an unpopular opinion, and the intention to spread it. Maybe drop an f-bomb when he starts talking, he will threaten and intimidate you.

Step 2. Swear Revenge.

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This step is especially important, this step will be the defining moment of your motivation and will drive you throughout your journey.

Step 3. Workout with the name of the bastard who did this to you in mind.

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Step 4. Forget the bastard.

Step 5. Get inspired by your favorite comic book / video game characters.

This guy

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Inspires this guy

Step 6. Acquire a taste for anime openings with high octane action.

Step 7. You just wanna become a super saiyan now.

Step 8. Become a Super Saiyan

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Step 9. Have the ultimate battle of an enemy more worthy of your attention.